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[This is the most hateful thing he's ever agreed to in his life.]

Very well.

[Hakkai murmurs again into his communicator, and a few moments later looks back up at Sebastian.]

It's done.

[Retroactively this is all in person. /o/]

Hn, [Sebastian acknowledges, leaning his chin against his clasped hand, waiting for... something. But he feels no different; just the same bone-deep frustration as before--

It's only after several seconds he feels tears dripping down on his hands.]

What--

[Emotional control is one of those lessons that you don't have to learn when you don't generally have emotions; Hakkai, without fuss, fishes a clean handkerchief out of his pocket and offers it to Sebastian.]

[Ugh. He's not bawling, at least, and looks equal parts frustrated and baffled as he snatches the handkerchief from Hakkai.]

I am not sad-- [He's angry! Frustrated! That should not mean tears.]

Are you frustrated?

[Hakkai has never had the closest relationship with his own emotional state, but he's reassured quite a lot of frustrated five-year-olds.]

Obviously I am-- You know I have been for weeks.

[Two reasons why he's not standing and just immediately leaving the room: Sebastian doesn't really see any shame in crying per se, and he's quite sure that Hakkai would be annoying about it and let leave him alone if he tried to go.]

I do.

Frustration can cause tears, too. So can anger. They're not always a sign of sadness.

[He wipes at his eyes, very much frustrated.]

On second thought, this was a poor idea. Please ask him to reverse it.

I'd like you to give it a try first.

Stay in today and communicate on the network, if you'd rather not be seen -- I can cover for you in the kitchen. But let's try twenty-four hours, and if you still want it undone tomorrow morning we'll undo it.

What good is this ridiculous exercise if I am to just stay inside--

[He says, as if he's not having Big Emotions already even when it's just him and Hakkai. But it's true it would be tremendously humiliating being out and about in this state. He feels very much like contacting the Admiral himself and ask him to reverse it.

He takes a deep breath, hating how the tears won't stop.]

--R-right. That is... likely for the best. I deeply apologise for the trouble.

Use the network all you like. But when you're on the network, it'll be easier for you to step away from a conversation if you need to.

Truly, it's no trouble. Contact me if there's anything you've thought of or anything you need to know, and I'll be back once lunch shift is finished.

--There is no need for you to come by in person, surely.

[He's not a toddler in need of babysitting. Even though he kind of is.]

It would be easier. And I can bring you lunch.

[Human bodies need to eat.]

[Brb BURYING HIS FACE IN HIS HANDS this is the worst]

I require you not to feed me, sir--

[Despite how getting food on his own would entail him going out of his cabin. This makes sense!!]

Well, if you're staying in...

[Getting food on his own entails going out of the cabin!]

[Excuse him for a minute as he just cries, face in his hands, while desperately trying to get a grip.]

[Hakkai falls silent and folds his hands neatly together on the table, giving Sebastian the time to deal with his sudden onslaught of emotion.]

[At least he cries quietly, for whatever good that does his dignity.

Eventually he manages:]

I apo- apologise. This is hateful.

[Why is everything so much. And why does his head suddenly hurt what is this nonsense.]

I'm not surprised it hit you so strongly.

You've been dealing with a lot, haven't you?

[--and, after a pause:] I cried when I graduated. There's a great deal of emotion tied into... all of tha.

It- it is hardly like I am unaccustomed to anger and frustration.

[Those are some of the few emotions he knows he's capable of! There shouldn't be tears.

At least he's calming down. Outwardly, at least.]

Human emotion often comes with [a slight flick of one hand] physical symptoms.

It's best just to consider them a normal part of the process.

[This is a deeply hypocritical statement.]

R-right.

...You are saying it will be less intense, going forward? [Since he only advised Sebastian to stay inside for the day.]

Perhaps not less intense, but less shocking. Like anything, you get used to it.

[He frowns, thoughtfully.]

And I don't think it would be a good use of your time to isolate yourself for the entire duration of the experiment, either. Just give yourself a little time to experience your feelings without worrying about anyone seeing you before you venture out.

It would be a perfect, utter waste of time isolating myself for the entirety of this hateful thing--

[He stands up.]

Will you... please excuse me? [~~This takes place in Hakkai's cabin.~~ It's not a dismissal; more of a request to be alone for a while.]

Re: [morning, the day after the flood ends]

reformedsinner - 2024-07-18 18:31 (UTC) - Expand

Re: [morning, the day after the flood ends]

untiltheend - 2024-07-22 20:58 (UTC) - Expand