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[untiltheend]

This is Sebastian Michaelis. I am unavailable at present, but please leave a message. Should a response be needed I will reply when time permits me. Please do keep your message brief.

Comments

Re: during port (timeskip!)

[untiltheend]

"No. I think my ability to truly care ceased to exist when I returned to being a demon."

He puts his cup of water gingerly aside.

"But I am willing to try anything on the chance that it might work."

Re: during port (timeskip!)

[reformedsinner]

"I certainly think it's different when you're yourself. But I don't think it's gone."

Not if Sebastian wants his young master to live a long life. Not when he's still so possessive over the things -- and people -- he values.

"But I don't know if it's of value to have some outside force tell you what you care about, either. Maybe later, if it does become important...."

Re: during port (timeskip!)

[untiltheend]

Sebastian tilts his head.

"Mean you that I have always had the capacity, or that the capacity of a human's caring remains to an extent?"

He's. quite sure demons are fully incapable of truly caring.

Re: during port (timeskip!)

[reformedsinner]

"I mean that I think demons have their own way of caring, and not being the same as a human's feelings doesn't mean that it's not real."

He shrugs, a tiny little movement of his shoulders, and lifts another cup to try to see if there's any more dawnlight to pull up. It skims through golden light that's gone, somehow, more insubstantial, and comes up with nothing but -- perhaps -- a new bright glimmer to its gilded surface.

"Well," he adds, tone going practical. "I suppose it's time to head back. You have the cups safe? I can row..."

Re: during port (timeskip!)

[untiltheend]

Sebastian considers those words for a moment, chin in hands. It doesn't sound quite right to him, but...

Ah, well.

"Yes. I will make sure not a drop of water is spilled, sir."

Re: during port (timeskip!)

[reformedsinner]

"Of course."

Competence is never the point on which he's worried about Sebastian. Although--

"I think caring looks like possessiveness to you. Among other things."

That had been an unconvinced face, he thinks.

Re: during port (timeskip!)

[untiltheend]

Heh.

"Such an unflattering way of describing it, sir."

Sebastian sees nothing wrong with possessiveness, but humans tend to view it rather, ah, negatively.

Re: during port (timeskip!)

[reformedsinner]

"I don't see anything wrong with wanting to keep hold of the people who matter to you."

Hakkai's not human, but that's not why he doesn't have a problem with possessiveness. His own possessive streak goes back long before he was youkai.

Re: during port (timeskip!)

[untiltheend]

"I do seem to recall you describing yourself as having 'a terrible personality'.

...As for the 'other things'?"

Re: during port (timeskip!)

[reformedsinner]

"Oh, yes," Hakkai agrees placidly. "As for the other things... well, I've noticed you have a tendency to hurt the people you like, too. Which isn't necessarily a problem as long as that's what they want from a friendship ♥"

Although even with Johann, it hadn't been quite what he'd wanted from a friendship. But it's certainly a habit of Sebastian's.

Re: during port (timeskip!)

[untiltheend]

"Well. In the end, not even someone like Johann wanted that", Sebastian remarks, mirroring Hakkai's thoughts. How likely is he to form meaningful connections with others if this is what him 'caring' amounts to?

...Well. The young master, at least, does want Sebastian to hurt him, in a fashion. He wants Sebastian to guide him down the path of darkness; to be his devouring monster. But Mr Cho doesn't want Sebastian to hurt the young master.

Re: during port (timeskip!)

[reformedsinner]

"Johann didn't want you to hurt him instead of caring," Hakkai corrects, gently.

Re: during port (timeskip!)

[untiltheend]

"I will admit I do not quite see the difference".

It's an honest admission; he's not just being petulant.

Re: during port (timeskip!)

[reformedsinner]

"Violence isn't communication," Hakkai says, thoughtful and a little slowly. He hasn't fully unpicked Johann's side of that old argument for himself, but he'd heard about it from both Johann and Sebastian: he can go through his perception of the details.

"When he wanted to communicate, and you were violent towards him instead, what he understood from that was that you didn't care what he wanted. It's different, if you both want to tussle."

Maybe that's a gentle way of describing it, but Hakkai has a high tolerance for friendly violence himself. It's hard to know Sanzo without being able to translate.

"But when he wants to talk and you break his fingers that's rejection, not communication."