untiltheend | IC Contact

"I think you might be surprised," Hakkai murmurs, setting his teacup back on the table. "But I won't insist on it, of course."

"...Goodness. Mean you to say he considers our arrangement a sincere one now?"

--Well. That'd go some way towards explaining Johann's weird comment recently.

"I wouldn't want to speak for someone else," Hakkai murmurs. "That would have to be a question for him. But I think you do mean something to him, yes.

"What were the terms of your original agreement?"

"Oh, it was a simple quid pro quo: I would let Mr Dorian Gray believe Johann and I were friends, in exchange for him acquiring a weapon for me."

It's been well over a year: no reason to keep it secret any longer. He takes a sip of tea.

"His getting his healing ability back was conditional on him making a friend, you see."

"Ah," Hakkai murmurs. Dorian Gray? It has, indeed, been a while. A sliver of a smile curves the corner of his mouth.

"Yes, Sebastian, I think by now the original deal might no longer be the reason he spends time with you."

Sebastian: 'haha I am so good at reading people'
Also Sebastian: this conversation

"Ah."

Well. He supposes Johann was always more 'human' than 'monster' compared to Sebastian.

"That is good, I suppose, if your judgement is to be trusted."

"I don't know Johann extremely well," Hakkai muses. "But surely, if this were all to maintain a ruse to keep his healing ability, he'd have let it slide when Mr. Gray left the ship."

Faking friendship takes effort, and Johann has not struck him as Sebastian's sort of perfectionist. An unnecessary masquerade Johann found tedious would have been abandoned long since.

"Ah, no: what I meant is, 'if your judgement about connections being powerful is to be trusted'. If that is true, then it is convenient that I am truly Johann's friend."

"Ah, I see," Hakkai says, with a quicksilver flicker of a smile, and rests his chin on one hand. "Is Johann your friend, Sebastian?"

Connections, after all, are valuable when offered, but much more valuable when formed.

"That is not the sort of question I have ever been asked before."

Hrmm. He makes a serious effort to think it over, at least.

"...Please know that, were it not for his healing abilities, I would have killed him several times over by now."

He's pretty sure friends aren't supposed to do that.

"Sparring?"

It's a perfectly reasonable sort of friendship in Hakkai's opinion. After all, when you know someone you care for has extreme healing abilities, you don't have precisely the same kind of concerns about their injuries. His tone is curious, but not in the least judgmental.

"Ah, well."

He'll get lectured about this, won't he...

"He will occasionally fight back."

But mostly it's just Sebastian beating him up.

Well. Hakkai's eyebrows soar for a long moment.

"How does he react when you attack him?"

"'Attack' is surely making it sound needlessly dramatic; I assure you he always knows what is coming."

He even obediently follows Sebastian to the Enclosure specifically for it.

"And he has known, from our very first encounter, that fighting back expecting to win is quite pointless.

--We are both fine with this arrangement, sir. But you see why a hesitate to call us friends?"

"Yes, that sounds more like a mutually satisfactory sadomasochistic arrangement to me personally," Hakkai muses, not turning a hair. "But, Sebastian, why would you have to follow human patterns for friendship?"

Sebastian makes a bit of a face-- that's the word Blitz used when he was being weird and gross about Sebastian and Johann. Maybe the word isn't inherently sexual in nature, then. Thank goodness.

"I would not, I suppose. But human patterns are all I am familiar with, however briefly."

It certainly can be sexual, but Hakkai's under the impression that it doesn't have to be. Sebastian at least seems like a perfectly ordinary sadist -- though Hakkai is just as pleased not to get into discussing Sebastian's sexual proclivities at any point.

"That's fair enough," he murmurs. "So, then, you have the opportunity to form your own, don't you? Whichever pattern works for you and the person you want to connect with. Should I call it something other than friendship?"

"I have no preference as to how to refer to it. Humans, too, have slightly differing opinions on how to define 'friendship', I believe? As I recall, Mr Gray defined it as 'people one feels one can complain to'.

Or 'bitch to', as Dorian actually phrased it.

"With all that said... yes, surely, I have every opportunity to form my own patterns."

It's still not without a certain level of skepticism, but.

"Precisely," Hakkai agrees. "Just remember: there's no need to devalue them just because they may not look like other types of friendship you're familiar with. A meaningful connection... is a connection."

He turns his hands palm-up in a tiny shrug.

"Is there anything else you've been thinking about lately?"

Because, otherwise, he thinks he can probably let Sebastian have the rest of his afternoon back.

Hmm...

"I would not say I have. I have spent the last few days mostly being angry with you, sir."

Oh look, it's an admission of Feelings.

"You did make that clear," Hakkai murmurs, glancing up at Sebastian. There is a wry twist to the corner of his mouth.

"But that task wasn't something I could have abandoned. Any more than this is."

"Hm."

Sebastian clasps his hands. "You have made every assurance towards that promise, sir. Please excuse that I still somewhat doubt it."

Even so, only somewhat. Sebastian still has a lot more trust in Hakkai than he does in most other people.

"Because you doubt that you'll ever reach that goal, or because you doubt my obligation?" Hakkai says, crossing his arms on the tabletop and watching Sebastian thoughtfully.

"If it's the latter, there's nothing I can do to prove it other than -- to continue.

"If it's the former... I have my own opinions on that."

"I will not be so insulting as to suggest you do not mean to be true to your word."

At least not right now, when Hakkai has just proven that he'd return as promised.

So in other words... mostly the former? But also the do not mean to be true probably suggests it's at least a little of the latter too.

"Of course not," Hakkai agrees. Not when he's just proved that he does mean to be true to it; Sebastian tends to reserve his severe insults for times when he sincerely means them. Although it's true -- as he's taking mean to mean -- that a warden's determination only means so much in the face of often capricious disappearances. After a moment, he refolds his hands on the table, neat and precise.

"...You've changed considerably since I first met you. You're willing to accept help, you've formed multiple emotionally meaningful connections with others: there are people on board who you care about. So much change, so quickly... I think you'll be surprised by how soon you do graduate, Sebastian. At this rate, you may surprise me too."

IC Contact

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse