untiltheend | IC Contact

Very good, sir.

[He hates this.]

[And, a moment later:]

Ah.

Apparently, the Admiral can't give you my emotions, but he can make you temporarily human.

[He sounds less than thrilled about this option.]

Perhaps we could come up with another option...?

Dear me. How unfortunate that we happened to stumble upon his one limitation.

[The Admiral is a liar, what else is new.

He hates this. After a long pause:]

If the Admiral suggests turning me human, surely that is the best option. ["Obviously it's what he wants to see happen because it will amuse him".]

I don't like that option. But is it what you think would be best, Sebastian?

It should at least give you the ability to feel things. Human glands and brain chemistry make it quite hard not to have emotional reactions.

[His slightly clinical tone is put on to hide how much the idea unsettles him. But... well, it might work. And if Sebastian is willing, and it's temporary....]

I hate that option, sir.

[But if it's what the Admiral wants to see for him to grant Sebastian his damn graduation already, he'll just have to be a good monkey and dance. And besides, nothing else seems to be working.]

If... the Admiral will swear that he will undo it when asked to, I would agree to it.

[Remember some eight months ago when Sebastian said turning him human was completely out of the picture? Well.]

If you're sure, I'll tell him that.

And he had certainly better undo it when asked to.

[He'd done a considerable amount of damage to the Galley, with help. He's willing to do some to the Barge if sufficiently provoked.]

[This is the most hateful thing he's ever agreed to in his life.]

Very well.

[Hakkai murmurs again into his communicator, and a few moments later looks back up at Sebastian.]

It's done.

[Retroactively this is all in person. /o/]

Hn, [Sebastian acknowledges, leaning his chin against his clasped hand, waiting for... something. But he feels no different; just the same bone-deep frustration as before--

It's only after several seconds he feels tears dripping down on his hands.]

What--

[Emotional control is one of those lessons that you don't have to learn when you don't generally have emotions; Hakkai, without fuss, fishes a clean handkerchief out of his pocket and offers it to Sebastian.]

[Ugh. He's not bawling, at least, and looks equal parts frustrated and baffled as he snatches the handkerchief from Hakkai.]

I am not sad-- [He's angry! Frustrated! That should not mean tears.]

Are you frustrated?

[Hakkai has never had the closest relationship with his own emotional state, but he's reassured quite a lot of frustrated five-year-olds.]

Obviously I am-- You know I have been for weeks.

[Two reasons why he's not standing and just immediately leaving the room: Sebastian doesn't really see any shame in crying per se, and he's quite sure that Hakkai would be annoying about it and let leave him alone if he tried to go.]

I do.

Frustration can cause tears, too. So can anger. They're not always a sign of sadness.

[He wipes at his eyes, very much frustrated.]

On second thought, this was a poor idea. Please ask him to reverse it.

I'd like you to give it a try first.

Stay in today and communicate on the network, if you'd rather not be seen -- I can cover for you in the kitchen. But let's try twenty-four hours, and if you still want it undone tomorrow morning we'll undo it.

What good is this ridiculous exercise if I am to just stay inside--

[He says, as if he's not having Big Emotions already even when it's just him and Hakkai. But it's true it would be tremendously humiliating being out and about in this state. He feels very much like contacting the Admiral himself and ask him to reverse it.

He takes a deep breath, hating how the tears won't stop.]

--R-right. That is... likely for the best. I deeply apologise for the trouble.

Use the network all you like. But when you're on the network, it'll be easier for you to step away from a conversation if you need to.

Truly, it's no trouble. Contact me if there's anything you've thought of or anything you need to know, and I'll be back once lunch shift is finished.

--There is no need for you to come by in person, surely.

[He's not a toddler in need of babysitting. Even though he kind of is.]

It would be easier. And I can bring you lunch.

[Human bodies need to eat.]

[Brb BURYING HIS FACE IN HIS HANDS this is the worst]

I require you not to feed me, sir--

[Despite how getting food on his own would entail him going out of his cabin. This makes sense!!]

Well, if you're staying in...

[Getting food on his own entails going out of the cabin!]

[Excuse him for a minute as he just cries, face in his hands, while desperately trying to get a grip.]

[Hakkai falls silent and folds his hands neatly together on the table, giving Sebastian the time to deal with his sudden onslaught of emotion.]

[At least he cries quietly, for whatever good that does his dignity.

Eventually he manages:]

I apo- apologise. This is hateful.

[Why is everything so much. And why does his head suddenly hurt what is this nonsense.]

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