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[untiltheend]

This is Sebastian Michaelis. I am unavailable at present, but please leave a message. Should a response be needed I will reply when time permits me. Please do keep your message brief.

Comments

[untiltheend]

How magnanimous, sir. [But as for himself...] Well. Were I to eat nothing at all, eventually I would starve to death.

[Quite a real possibility here, he supposes. What an unpleasant thought.]

[epistemological]

[ He makes a face at the accusation of magnanimousness. Please. It was a silver lining on a shit cloud. He knows that. ]

So you rely on feeding on... whatever it is that you feed on: people's souls, their joy, their memories, whatever awful thing you think is going to make me make a face at you- for your existence, probably your power. It's not just a fancy or a whim or a hobby or something. Good to know.

I was the same.

[untiltheend]

[Yes, well. Mr Sims is going to make a face over it, there's no question of it.]

Oh? I took your earlier comment to mean you needed to feed to "live at any decent level of quality"? ...Starving is not pleasant, of course, but even so there is something of a difference between surviving and existing comfortably.

[epistemological]

I required it to survive. As the saying went among avatars: feed your patron or it will feed on you.

I found alternative routes for sustenance but all of them boiled down to horror and terror of others and while I have the advantage here of a bit of a smorgasbord popping up every few weeks, it isn't exactly reliable nor properly feasible anywhere else.

Technically, I've evidence that an Archivist survived the burning of the library at Alexandria and is still crawling around the sewers as a horrifying husk but I wouldn't call that 'living', no. Nor fault anyone for not wanting to exist as such.

[ A pause. ]

Taking a break or finished?

[untiltheend]

[Hmm. You know what, even an extremist like Sebastian can agree that an existence like that isn't the same as living... less because it'd be miserable and more because a creature like that would likely be completely useless in such a state.

He hands the journal over.] Finished, sir. [With his assignment, like a schoolboy. Hateful.

In beautiful cursive:

They said disgusting things.
They were interfering with my lesson plans.
They kicked me.
They insolently referred to me by a pet name (x 4).
They created more work for me (x 632).
They expressed themselves in a way that gave me plausible deniability to act cruelly (x 24).
They annoyed me (x 396).]

...My apologies; this is not the detailed rundown that you requested since that would take far too much time, but I hope it provides a general picture nonetheless.

[epistemological]

Jon. Please. But thank you.

[ And then he's going to take a moment to peer through the answers, frowning thoughtfully at a few of the entries. ]

I'm very curious why 'interfering with my lesson plans' needed to be differentiated from 'created more work for me'. Are you particularly concerned with your teaching?

[untiltheend]

...Unfortunately, as I told Sir Trevor [the fact that he's using this term of address is quite important] already: I absolutely cannot entertain the thought of referring to a Warden so casually. I will stoop to "Mr Jonathan" at the very lowest.

I am not particularly concerned with such things, no. But I assumed you wished for specificity? To clarify: teaching, in the last few years of my life, has been an intermittent thing. Work, however, has been a constant.

[epistemological]

Mr. Sims works. I'll happily answer to that.

[ Glancing down at the list again. ]

Fair enough. I wasn't sure if you thought it was particularly egregious. That said [ now he points lower ] ' plausible deniability to act cruelly '. So you acted cruelly purely because you could?

[untiltheend]

[Sebastian nods.]

As I said, Mr Sims, I am a cruelty-inclined creature.

[epistemological]

And yet, you classified this cruelty as 'unnecessary'. Why is that?

[untiltheend]

Because even being what I am, I realise the difference between something that is necessary and something that I do for the pleasure of it.

[epistemological]

[ He just nods as the shape of this whole thing is starting to come into view for him. ]

Right. So. I think I have a good first hypothesis for what you'll be working on here.

[untiltheend]

[Sebastian tilts his head. Yes?

What could it possibly be?]

[epistemological]

...you're hardly the first monstrous inmate or even the first monstrous warden, monstrous being used as shorthand for predatory non-human with a morality system that is not compatible with the standard human ones.

[ A pause before. ]

But I think you might need to be less of a meanspirited egotistical dickhead.

[ Delivered with all the clinical matter-of-factness of a medical diagnosis. ]

[untiltheend]

[A look of mild affront. Such language from a Warden? Good grief.]

...And other 'monstrous' Inmates have managed this?

[epistemological]

[ A brief look of relief before a hummingbird-like nod. ]

It's largely how that sort of thing goes. No one wants you leaving here tortured and bemoaning your existence or any such nonsense, but being less prone to treat people like fun little toys for your amusement... entirely doable.

[untiltheend]

[Surprise, Sebastian has self-control! Perks of being old and having gotten all that out of his system decades ago.]

Well. I should clarify that I would not mind being tortured, should that permit me to leave sooner.

If I may, how have these former Inmates grown to think of other people, then? [I mean, compared to Sebastian, humans are basically insects... How on Earth is he supposed to learn to respect insects?]

[epistemological]

That isn't what I meant at all but really, I should have guessed...

[ Deep. Sigh. ]

Usually, it comes from a combination of examining their preconceptions and the filter through which they're viewing others, as well as gaining a greater and deeper understanding of them and, frankly, being exposed to a very different and varied group of people in an environment that is less prone to allowing one to keep one's head in the sand nicely isolated from new thoughts.

[untiltheend]

[He "should have guessed"? Was there something wrong with Sebastian's statement? He was just saying.]

Ah, well... As much as I realise I likely sound the same as the many ignorant, monstrous Inmates before their change in perspective: I have been around a variety of people for a very long time. I would say I know quite well already how people generally think, reason and act.

[epistemological]

Absolutely the same. It's like you've all got a script.

[ Just saying. ]

I'm sure you're positively ancient.

I stand by my statement.

[untiltheend]

Quite, sir. [How tiring, having to deal with being the only monster inmate with an accurate perception of other people. The things Sebastian has to put up with.]

What steps would you have me take, then?

[epistemological]

...I'm not sure you're up to steps. This isn't really a color in the lines sort of setup.

What do you think might work?

[untiltheend]

...What might work to make me think more highly of people in general, sir?

[epistemological]

...that's a bit of a stretch for right now, I'd imagine.

Perhaps... what sort of things make you more likely to find someone tolerable to be around?

[untiltheend]

[He considers for a moment.]

There are already characteristics that I find tolerable, even agreeable, in others. Your suggestion is that I should work on lowering my standards in that regard?

[That sounds incredibly backwards.]