untiltheend | IC Contact

"No, I think I have the right person," Hakkai muses. "Is it that much of a surprise? Should I have hugged you more often?"

This is definitely a joke, although possibly, at the same time, a threat.

"I am sure I have suffered no ill effects from a lack of physical affection."

He leans back a little in the couch, holding his cup.

"Had we been thrust together under different circumstances, and had you not access to my entire life history, I would not have been surprised."

There have been people in the past that have cared about Sebastian, he knows that perfectly well. But all they've seen is his polished facade.

"Is it that surprising that someone could both know and like you?"

He's still for a moment, his hands delicately supporting the cup on fingertips as he watches Sebastian's face.

"Like: no."

Sebastian is amazing, after all; what's not to like? He takes another sip of tea. Hm, how to put it...

"But care about? That is another thing altogether. For one, anyone who truly knows me would know such a thing is not something I need, nor value."

"Caring about someone else is essentially a selfish act," Hakkai muses, and takes another sip of the tea. "I'm not caring about you as a gift to you, after all. I care about you because you matter to me, which equally means your happiness and well-being matter to me."

"Fair enough," Sebastian relents, sipping his tea.

"All the same, the type of being I am is not one that others care about."

"Then perhaps it's time someone did."

Sebastian tilts his head, considering Hakkai for a moment.

"--Need I clarify I said not what I did as a lament?"

There's no secret 'poor me, no one cares about me' sentiment going on; Sebastian doesn't have the emotional depth for that.

"Oh - no, that's not what I mean. But you're here to change, aren't you?"

Hakkai settles back into the couch, finishing his tea in a single swallow and resting the cup on his knee.

"And it is harder to care when you are not someone who is cared about. Those connections have power."

Selfish or not. It's the reason, in Hakkai's opinion, for wardens having individual assignments in the first place.

Sebastian hums thoughtfully, chin in hand.

"Power, is it... Well. How fortunate for me, then, to have a Warden who has developed such feelings already."

As much as it is rarely a good idea to grow attached to a demon. There's an unspoken approval of the tea-drinking penance in there.

"Exactly. Although I will say that making other connections is also powerful. I know you and Johann are close, for example...?"

It may be a bad idea to grow attached to a demon, but Hakkai's not too concerned. He's one himself, after all. Most of his friends are too.

And there's no one who it's safe to be attached to, in the end.

Sebastian huffs a soft laughs.

"Johann and I understand each other, as one monster to another. I rather doubt there is much capacity for caring from either of our side."

(Sebastian, honey, Johann has outright told Hakkai that he considers you friends.)

Edited 2024-03-10 13:23 (UTC)

"I think you might be surprised," Hakkai murmurs, setting his teacup back on the table. "But I won't insist on it, of course."

"...Goodness. Mean you to say he considers our arrangement a sincere one now?"

--Well. That'd go some way towards explaining Johann's weird comment recently.

"I wouldn't want to speak for someone else," Hakkai murmurs. "That would have to be a question for him. But I think you do mean something to him, yes.

"What were the terms of your original agreement?"

"Oh, it was a simple quid pro quo: I would let Mr Dorian Gray believe Johann and I were friends, in exchange for him acquiring a weapon for me."

It's been well over a year: no reason to keep it secret any longer. He takes a sip of tea.

"His getting his healing ability back was conditional on him making a friend, you see."

"Ah," Hakkai murmurs. Dorian Gray? It has, indeed, been a while. A sliver of a smile curves the corner of his mouth.

"Yes, Sebastian, I think by now the original deal might no longer be the reason he spends time with you."

Sebastian: 'haha I am so good at reading people'
Also Sebastian: this conversation

"Ah."

Well. He supposes Johann was always more 'human' than 'monster' compared to Sebastian.

"That is good, I suppose, if your judgement is to be trusted."

"I don't know Johann extremely well," Hakkai muses. "But surely, if this were all to maintain a ruse to keep his healing ability, he'd have let it slide when Mr. Gray left the ship."

Faking friendship takes effort, and Johann has not struck him as Sebastian's sort of perfectionist. An unnecessary masquerade Johann found tedious would have been abandoned long since.

"Ah, no: what I meant is, 'if your judgement about connections being powerful is to be trusted'. If that is true, then it is convenient that I am truly Johann's friend."

"Ah, I see," Hakkai says, with a quicksilver flicker of a smile, and rests his chin on one hand. "Is Johann your friend, Sebastian?"

Connections, after all, are valuable when offered, but much more valuable when formed.

"That is not the sort of question I have ever been asked before."

Hrmm. He makes a serious effort to think it over, at least.

"...Please know that, were it not for his healing abilities, I would have killed him several times over by now."

He's pretty sure friends aren't supposed to do that.

"Sparring?"

It's a perfectly reasonable sort of friendship in Hakkai's opinion. After all, when you know someone you care for has extreme healing abilities, you don't have precisely the same kind of concerns about their injuries. His tone is curious, but not in the least judgmental.

"Ah, well."

He'll get lectured about this, won't he...

"He will occasionally fight back."

But mostly it's just Sebastian beating him up.

Well. Hakkai's eyebrows soar for a long moment.

"How does he react when you attack him?"

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Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

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Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse