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No, it does not, [he agrees.]

But please understand I spend my time among humans as my current master's tool; I will do as ordered, and enjoy seeing the effects of the decisions my master makes.

[...Less so in the last year or so in his current master's employ, admittedly.]

Are you typically under orders at all times? Or are you free to act between executing orders?

[He's still trying to work out the precise distinctions that Sebastian sees between his own will and his aesthetic determination to act as his master requires.]

Or is it more that... your orders shape who you are, so you never exist among humans other than as a tool...?

I have had masters insist I not leave their sight until our Contract was fulfilled. [Those were the smart, if paranoid, ones.] Occasionally I have had a master stipulate I may not claim my reward until the end of their natural life-- in such instances, once I have granted their wish I have been free to roam as I please until I feel their life leaving them.

[In other words: he's usually free to act between orders.

Hmm. Sebastian taps his chin for a moment. How to explain...?]

Have you zoos in your world? Or circuses?

I've never seen either in person, but I know what they are.

Well, then. The point of both establishments is to enjoy watching the animals and performers, yes?

[Comparing humans to animals in a zoo is such a good look, Sebastian.]

Are you comparing yourself to the spectator or to the creature in a cage?

[How dare.]

You did remark that it sounds as if the things I enjoy come from observation, no?

[Obviously he was comparing himself to the spectator.

(Sorry: his current master named Sebastian after his dog. It's a sore spot.)]

I think that there is a certain amount of observation occurring on both sides of the bars.

From what I've gathered... your summoning does seem to be limiting in many ways.

[And Sebastian's instant anger at the comparison makes him wonder if it's a comparison that Sebastian has made himself.]

[Of course he's never made such a comparison. That would be ridiculous and without so much as the slightest hint of relevance.]

Come now. I put the collar on myself and willingly hand my master my leash, only to forcefully take it back once the game is over.

[There's some perverse ironic pleasure in continuing the dog metaphor his current little master started.]

Edited 2023-09-16 14:24 (UTC)

Even if you aren't tame, and put it on yourself, a collar is a collar, a leash is a leash.

Do you ever resent it?

[Sebastian's eyes briefly flit over to the steeping tea. Not because he enjoys tea, but... he's sat through so many aggravating talk therapy sessions now, with several different wardens, that it just feels odd by now not to hold onto a teacup when frustrated at a warden.

What a ridiculous thing to be conditioned about.]

Naturally I have resented previous masters of mine, and orders I have been given. At times I have resented the monotony of humanity, and the ennui that comes with observing it. But I have never resented the realities of my existence.

Edited (spelling) 2023-09-17 12:59 (UTC)

[Hakkai follows his gaze, and rises from his seat with a polite sketch of a bow, turning to pour.]

Ennui, in my experience, grows worse with distance, and easier with -- participation.

From what you've told me, you aren't necessarily limited to only do what your master asks -- isn't that correct? You can act outside those boundaries if you so choose?

Thank you, [Sebastian says, accepting the ~~fidget spinner~~ cup.]

Yes, yes. [He knows already what Hakkai would have him work towards.]

Living with the young master is far from boring, however. [Sometimes frustrating, sure... but honestly, he's plenty invested in this little master's business, and the Admiral should recognise that and just let him go home already.]

That's good. But you also won't be living with him forever, and it doesn't make sense to work towards a change that will only last for one master's life.

Making efforts to connect with other people beyond that seems -- useful. And efforts to understand them on a deeper level. You do have that friend at home, yes? Mr. Agni?

Oh, spoke you with him?

[Sebastian keeps up with the network, but not down to every single public conversation... Plus, he had his hands full during the 4th Wall event trying to avoid having Agni burst into tears over Sebastian's current situation.]

Yes, I did. [Smiling cheerfully.] He seems to be a very devoted person. Unusually generous of spirit....

That is an accurate description, yes. He is of course deeply devoted to his master, but also to doing as much good in the world as possible.

[Yes yes, he sees where this is going.]

Also, he likes you very much.

Yes, well. [Plenty of people do. All the other servants in the mansion do. He takes a sip of his tea.]

I like Mr Agni as well. He is an excellent person.

He seemed to be so. [And, more to the point:]

And I suspect your returning the affection is considerably rarer.

"Affection" seems quite a strong word for it... ["Appreciation" sounds more appropriate.]

It is not as if I have never appreciated a human before, but indeed, the vast majority is completely unremarkable to me.

Well, I feel the same way. I suspect every human does too.

Most of us have a few important people, and less concern for others, no matter how fair and kind we try to be.

Of that, I am very aware. Humans are fully capable of committing monstrous acts against those unimportant to them. Why, even to those important to them as well, oftentimes.

In the end, I would not say Mr Agni is important to me.

But you do appreciate him.

Would you say that any other being you've met is important to you?

[Sebastian nods. He does appreciate Agni.]

All cats are wonderful creatures, of course. [But they come and go (and also are more comic relief than anything else).]

The young master is the current focal point of my life, but of course, that is not what you mean. [So probably no.]

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