Sebastian "weirdo nerd" Michaelis (
untiltheend) wrote2037-05-21 10:15 pm
IC Contact

This is Sebastian Michaelis. I am unavailable at present, but please leave a message. Should a response be needed I will reply when time permits me. Please do keep your message brief.

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Yes, well... As I understand it there is no helping it. [Which isn't quite an "it's fine, don't worry about it", but... close enough.] One of my supervisors in the kitchens inconveniently found himself in the same position during the latest Flood; there is nothing for it but to make do.
Thank you. [He does take a seat, sitting with his hands formally clasped in his lap.] I should think my own preferences matter little in a situation like this, but since I am the one intruding, surely it is only proper I start. Sebastian Michaelis, butler to the earl Ciel Phantomhive, London, England. If it is relevant, I arrived here two months ago, and have had one temporary Warden prior to yourself - Mr Lark Tennant.
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Jonathan Sims, formerly the Archivist and the head archivist of the Magnus Institute in London, England. Lark is a close friend, one I've known since I got here, frankly. And since he was an inmate.
[ He tips his head towards Sebastien.]
Do you have any idea what you're doing here? And by 'here', I do mean 'the barge, as an inmate' as opposed to 'my office in the library'.
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[ All delivered very much like someone taking a survey. Neither option seems to bother him overmuch. ]
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It's almost making it seem like Sebastian's insistence on pretending to be just a normal human butler is pointless in this settingThere's a momentary pause before he answers:]--I am not a good person, no. But I do believe that any characteristics of mine that would be considered "bad" by others are not things I could change about myself.
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...he's taking notes.]
And why is that?
[ He's not going to call you out but he's also not going to let things go by without a question.]
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Because some things, despite being considered "sinful" by nearly every civilisation across all ages, are core and fundamental to being a person - hence why they are noted and condemned everywhere. Self-interest and selfishness, for example. Deep down, everyone in fundamentally self-serving; I do not believe that is something that can truly change, as much as one can pretend otherwise.
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And yet, any number of people have graduated over the course of the Barge's time floating about and most of them, if not all of them, haven't managed to expire from overly-charitable self-sacrifice.
So clearly that can't be the problem. Anything else?
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You mentioned "eons-old supernatural creatures" in quite a casual manner?
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[ Terribly dry. Then he breathes in with a huff of a laugh. ]
Yes, because eons-old supernatural creatures are the closest thing I have to bread and butter, as they'd say. Given that I was previously the avatar of a multi-faceted eldritch entity of fear that attempted to utilize me to bring about the spread of their influence to multiple universes.
[ A quick, tight smile.]
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Oh? Dear me. There do seem to be quite a number of you around. [First the yellow monstrosity, now this.]
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[ He's going to keep looking at you, Sebastian.]
Now, were you going to stop wasting our time and say something of substance any time soon?
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Punk-ass little bitch.
Sebastian's smile strains for a moment.]
--Well, then. I apologise for how arrogant this will sound, but: I honestly do not believe I have anything in need of changing. If I had, I would already have changed them on my own. [Better?]
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Well, it is 'I have no intention of doing anything constructive' but at least it isn't personal.
[ No, really.
He folds his hands.]
The fact of the matter is that something needs to change in order for you to graduate and leave this place, so unless you're quite happy to continue to be incarcerated here or you're hoping to outlast the Admiral and be flung into the Void, I'd like to make an argument for considering the wildly improbable concept that whatever the hell you are, you may actually have some behaviors or viewpoints that could be improved upon for your own wellbeing and the well-being of other beings who happen to be around you at any point.
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If he is truly so omniscient, he should well know I see no fault with myself - I am arrogant that way. Would he but deign to inform me what he wants for me to change, I would happily work to try to [fake to] implement it. Please believe me when I say I would not stay here a second longer than absolutely necessary - I must return to my master, you see.
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[ You... you're stretching the bounds of believability here, sir. Come on now.]
The Admiral's intentions are simple enough. Everyone I've ever seen trying to make them more complicated was just doing it as a justification for their own lack of desire to change or grow in any way.
So I'm going to put this very plainly: do you want to work on this with the understanding that, surprise surprise, even beings who ostensibly know just about everything they might need to in their own universes may not be entirely cognizant of their own personal capacity for growth and change or do you want to sit there like a fussy toddler decrying the fact that nothing can be done about anything but you really must get home right now and the mean mean Admiral needs to stop playing silly buggers because you're clearly special and he made a mistake?
[ He leans back and spreads his hands.]
As I said at the start: I don't mind either way, or rather, I do mind, but I'm well aware one can only lead a horse to water. But in the interest of your own time and efforts and mine, I'd like something of a straight answer, if you can manage that.
[ He turns one hand.]
If you can't and you'd like some time to think it over, I'm happy to wait... well, for a reasonable amount of time, anyway.
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Fine. ["Fussy toddler..." Really.] Naturally, I have changed over the course of my life. It is not impossible that I could change again.
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Yeah, buddy: not better.]
Excellent. Then let's start with who, or rather, what, we're dealing with: what the hell are you actually?
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Will it go into my ledger page?
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[The only one he has hurt is Johann, and Johann, he knows, won't tell.]
...And since you are a proponent of speaking plainly: no, sir, it will not result in anything of the sort.
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[ He raises an eyebrow. ]
Mr.Michaelis, the events I mentioned previously were the result of 200 plus years of manipulation and careful planning, the seeds of which in my own life were planted at the age of eight. My own employees have waited between six months to several years to plot revenges of various severity and I worked for a man for five years of benevolent supervision before he bludgeoned an old man to death with a pipe and left him in my office to frame me for murder.
I'll take your word for it but I know what a long game is.
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[Hrm. The absurd possessed mask knows already, Sebastian supposes, and he does assume wardens talk among themselves (or if they don't, they're imbeciles). It's not that he trusts Jon to keep that promise, but his identity is hardly a complete secret as-is. He thrums his fingers for a few additional seconds.]
What I am is a demon.
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[ Haha, nice try.]
And you'd be surprised at what inmates in this place have managed with a few months of prep and planning. [ That a huff, mostly of amusement.] Not that I'm trying to inspire you.
[ The answer he gets, though-]
Huh. You know, I don't think I've ever actually met a proper demon. We don't have them where I'm from, outside of fiction and mythology, I mean. What does that entail, exactly?
[ He holds up a finger.]
I'm not trying to delve too far, but I'm well aware that cosmology can vary extensively between different worlds. 'Demon' can mean everything from 'fallen angelic creature' to 'the darkness in someone's heart made manifest' to 'perfectly mortal supernatural creature who's garnered that moniker through human bigotry' after all. Just the general shape would be helpful.
[ He turns his notebook.]
I won't write any of this down, if you're concerned.
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We are nothing of the sort, no, nor are we innocents unfairly painted as villains. My kind hail from another realm, whence we may be summoned into the human world. Certainly we could be called supernatural. Like humans, we are predators, [a light shrug] but most demons live lives of sloth and hedonism.
[He's so thankful Jon isn't writing anything down right under his nose, sure.]
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