untiltheend | IC Contact

Sorry, Sebastian: you're going to be forced to deal with Hakkai's affection. At least he isn't soppy about it.

He gets the kettle from the kitchen and settles down on the other end of the couch, pouring water over the already measured tea-leaves in a cloud of vilely fragrant steam. It's the blend he'd gotten for Sebastian at the alien space station.

"They did," he agrees, neatening the cups on the saucers. "After this, it's all -- well -- politics. I'm happy to leave that to Sanzo. And to Prince Kougaiji for his part, of course."

He smiles as he reaches to pour. No biting required: he's staying now.

Sebastian tilts his head slightly as Hakkai pours the tea into both of their cups. He recognises the scent, and, while it doesn't smell as good as it did when he still had his sense of taste in tact, it still doesn't smell bad by any means. But he does remember that Hakkai found it disgusting.

"I see," he says, and pauses a moment to consider what to say. Aside from his various Masters - and then only before the resolution of their Contracts - he's never before cared much about potentially never seeing any one person again. I am very glad-- Relieved-- Still angry with you--

"I am glad to hear it."

"I'm glad to be back, too," Hakkai says, and settles his elbows on the table, wrapping his hands around the teacup. It smells vile, but he's determined to drink at least one cup for the apology. As important as it had been, as short as the disappearance had been from Sebastian's perspective, he'd left Sebastian here without a firm promise of his own survival to return.

"And there's no other reason for me to leave this Barge now until you've graduated. I don't intend to."

Ah. He catches on to the likely point of the tea after a moment, and smiles somewhat wider. Hope it tastes absolutely awful.

"Mm, is that to say you have decided on a Deal for yourself, then?"

Since... whatever it was they were doing back in their world... apparently wasn't enough.

"No. I'm still in the same situation there," Hakkai says mildly. "If no one else needs it for a more urgent cause, I'm sure I can find something that would help me in the future, but my own world... we've finished our journey. What's left to do there can't be wished away."

He takes another sip of the tea, expression not flickering in the least at its vile flavor.

"Why do you ask?"

Sebastian too takes a sip of his tea. He hasn't bothered to try it since giving up his sense of taste for suffering... and is pleasantly surprised to discover it still tastes good. Not delicious, not like it did before with so many notes of suffering, but still far better than the slop tea humans favour.

"Well. Remaining here, for however many [tens of, hundreds of] years it will be, without a concrete goal at the end of the tunnel... surely that would be tedious for anyone eventually." And Hakkai did have that out just now; no one could have complained had he chosen not to return to the Barge after he'd finished his mission back home.

Yes, he knows Hakkai said he takes his commitment to graduating Sebastian seriously. He knows, but... Sebastian's world is transactional, in the end. Selfish, self-serving.

"I don't think it'll take you as long as you may be imagining it will," Hakkai murmurs over his teacup. "Even since we met, Sebastian... you've changed.

"But even if it's a few decades, there are worse places to make a home than this one. My goal is your graduation. What I do with the deal... well, I'm sure there'll be something that needs a deal at some point, for myself or someone I care for."

Maybe even for Sebastian, if he needs it.

Sebastian pauses for a moment over his teacup. Changed, has he? Well. Clearly not in ways deemed relevant to the Admiral. He's grown meeker, weaker, more reliant on pathetic little insects to reassure him of his progress...

"Assuredly. There is always something to be desired."

He takes a sip of tea.

"Surely Instructor Jedao will have some ideas, once his own Inmate graduates."

Then the two of them can go living happily ever after in whatever world they so choose, with a fresh Deal of Jedao's to cash in on.

Edited 2024-03-05 20:48 (UTC)

"Perhaps so," Hakkai agrees mildly, "or perhaps you will, by then." He considers Sebastian for a long moment.

"I know what Jedao wants for his next deal, and it isn't to leave the Barge. Not yet."

He takes another sip of tea and then looks down at his cup for several long moments, before looking back up at Hakkai.

"Come, now. Please do not do that."

Malcolm Bright is an idiot who gives his Deals away to his inmates. Mr Cho isn't that much of an idiot or an altruist-- and neither is Sebastian enough of either to believe in such an offer.

"No? I'm not offering it as an incentive," Hakkai adds. "After all, the reward for graduation is freedom, and I wouldn't insult you by implying you aren't already working for it. But I don't need a deal; I never have wanted one, unless this trip I've just completed would have gone... badly."

If they had failed, if they had all died: that would have been worth a deal to change. But they had succeeded without one. He shrugs and takes another sip of the tea.

"Why would I not offer it to someone whose happiness matters to me?"

........

Hakkai gets a look of utter bewilderment. Who is this mystery person whose happiness Hakkai cares about?

Hakkai continues to drink the tea, sip by unpleasant sip, visibly placid and unbothered by the stare. Sebastian is an intelligent man. He'll figure it out soon enough.

No, no, he does understand that said person is, supposedly, him, but... 404 not found that makes no sense.

"...Surely you are confusing me with someone else, sir."

"No, I think I have the right person," Hakkai muses. "Is it that much of a surprise? Should I have hugged you more often?"

This is definitely a joke, although possibly, at the same time, a threat.

"I am sure I have suffered no ill effects from a lack of physical affection."

He leans back a little in the couch, holding his cup.

"Had we been thrust together under different circumstances, and had you not access to my entire life history, I would not have been surprised."

There have been people in the past that have cared about Sebastian, he knows that perfectly well. But all they've seen is his polished facade.

"Is it that surprising that someone could both know and like you?"

He's still for a moment, his hands delicately supporting the cup on fingertips as he watches Sebastian's face.

"Like: no."

Sebastian is amazing, after all; what's not to like? He takes another sip of tea. Hm, how to put it...

"But care about? That is another thing altogether. For one, anyone who truly knows me would know such a thing is not something I need, nor value."

"Caring about someone else is essentially a selfish act," Hakkai muses, and takes another sip of the tea. "I'm not caring about you as a gift to you, after all. I care about you because you matter to me, which equally means your happiness and well-being matter to me."

"Fair enough," Sebastian relents, sipping his tea.

"All the same, the type of being I am is not one that others care about."

"Then perhaps it's time someone did."

Sebastian tilts his head, considering Hakkai for a moment.

"--Need I clarify I said not what I did as a lament?"

There's no secret 'poor me, no one cares about me' sentiment going on; Sebastian doesn't have the emotional depth for that.

"Oh - no, that's not what I mean. But you're here to change, aren't you?"

Hakkai settles back into the couch, finishing his tea in a single swallow and resting the cup on his knee.

"And it is harder to care when you are not someone who is cared about. Those connections have power."

Selfish or not. It's the reason, in Hakkai's opinion, for wardens having individual assignments in the first place.

Sebastian hums thoughtfully, chin in hand.

"Power, is it... Well. How fortunate for me, then, to have a Warden who has developed such feelings already."

As much as it is rarely a good idea to grow attached to a demon. There's an unspoken approval of the tea-drinking penance in there.

"Exactly. Although I will say that making other connections is also powerful. I know you and Johann are close, for example...?"

It may be a bad idea to grow attached to a demon, but Hakkai's not too concerned. He's one himself, after all. Most of his friends are too.

And there's no one who it's safe to be attached to, in the end.

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse

Re: After he and Jedao return from Saiyukiverse