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...apparently, I missed rather a lot.

[ Very very dry. ]

My apologies for leaving you on your own during the flood. I don't think we've spoken before now but I was just checking in to see if you're the sort who actually wants to work on things or if you're the sort who's going to threaten to remove my lungs via my eye-sockets if I so much as breathe in your direction.

Don't mind either way, though I'm much more inclined towards the former. Wasting time around here, while ostensibly harmless, can also result in you ending up in the Void and remaining dead and I generally prefer not to let people go that way.

Usually, I'd offer if you needed anything, but from what I understand, you'd already have taken care of that?

Good day... Mr Sims, yes?

Please worry not: I am aware of the [very lacking] level of accountability of temporarily paired Wardens to their Inmates. Fortunately we are all capable adults here. [Don't mind Sebastian: he fully expected to be de-powered and demoted again at the end of this Flood. He's still salty about it.]

And thank you, but I want for nothing. I am, however, most anxious to graduate as soon as possible. I would begin working towards that at your earliest convenience, please. [By which he means: preferably right this second. How dare this useless Warden go and be unconscious and waste five whole days of Sebastian's time.]

[ If Sebastian makes that point, he'll whole-heartedly agree. This was his first coma and he's deeply displeased about it.]

Excellent. When and where would you care to meet? I'm currently in the library at the moment and very often, to be honest. My office isn't far from the entrance.

Where we meet is of no import to me. Your office is perfectly acceptable.

In five minutes? I am unoccupied at present. [Quite possibly because once Archer/Trevor/Trixie/some warden with sense got access back, they kicked Sebastian out of the kitchens and told him to go take a break already.]

Perfect. Excellent. Don't knock; just walk in. Careful with the case full of sand.

[Why full of sand-- You know what, he doesn't care.]

As you say. I shall see you soon, then.

[And Sebastian is punctual: it's five minutes on the dot when he opens the door to Jon's office.]

Mr Sims?

[ Mr. Sims is in a clean if somewhat stack-heavy office full of books, records, and curiously enough, dog toys. They're all neatly against one wall, next to a dog bed.
On the far side of the office is, in fact, a large fish tank full of sand (which Sebastian might see something slithering through if he watches for long enough) and Jon himself is behind the desk, looking up at him clearly prepared to get started.]

Mr. Michaelis. Thank you. And again, my apologies for the coma. First one I've ever had and it had to come during a pairing.

[ He looks more than a little cross about the whole thing really.]

Please take a seat if you like, and we'll get started with introductions, I would think. I can go first, or you're welcome to begin; whichever you'd prefer.

[Sebastian casts a quick glance about without commenting: it looks an acceptable enough office (besides the toys and dog bed, what in the world are those things doing here...).]

Yes, well... As I understand it there is no helping it. [Which isn't quite an "it's fine, don't worry about it", but... close enough.] One of my supervisors in the kitchens inconveniently found himself in the same position during the latest Flood; there is nothing for it but to make do.

Thank you. [He does take a seat, sitting with his hands formally clasped in his lap.] I should think my own preferences matter little in a situation like this, but since I am the one intruding, surely it is only proper I start. Sebastian Michaelis, butler to the earl Ciel Phantomhive, London, England. If it is relevant, I arrived here two months ago, and have had one temporary Warden prior to yourself - Mr Lark Tennant.

[ Jon nods and dips his head in greeting.]

Jonathan Sims, formerly the Archivist and the head archivist of the Magnus Institute in London, England. Lark is a close friend, one I've known since I got here, frankly. And since he was an inmate.

[ He tips his head towards Sebastien.]

Do you have any idea what you're doing here? And by 'here', I do mean 'the barge, as an inmate' as opposed to 'my office in the library'.

If the Admiral is truly, earnestly wishing to grant "lost souls" a second lease at life, and wishes for them to improve themselves for their own good while he himself gains nothing from it... then, no; frankly I do not.

Because you're a 'good' person and you don't deserve to be here and believe this is all unfair or because you're some manner of eons-old supernatural creatures that doesn't even acknowledge the concepts of good and evil and has no possible 'redemption' to claim given that your very existence is, in many ways, outside the very idea?

[ All delivered very much like someone taking a survey. Neither option seems to bother him overmuch. ]

Edited (typo from phone tag) 2023-02-16 14:30 (UTC)

[Urk. Don't call him out like that with that second option. ~~It's almost making it seem like Sebastian's insistence on pretending to be just a normal human butler is pointless in this setting~~ There's a momentary pause before he answers:]

--I am not a good person, no. But I do believe that any characteristics of mine that would be considered "bad" by others are not things I could change about myself.

[ Sorry, Sebastian. He's been here long enough and he talks to fucking everyone. It's given him a good survey of who shows up.

...he's taking notes.]

And why is that?

[ He's not going to call you out but he's also not going to let things go by without a question.]

[Sebastian lightly thrums two fingers against the back of his opposite hand, which is the only obvious sign he's uncomfortable with the conversation.]

Because some things, despite being considered "sinful" by nearly every civilisation across all ages, are core and fundamental to being a person - hence why they are noted and condemned everywhere. Self-interest and selfishness, for example. Deep down, everyone in fundamentally self-serving; I do not believe that is something that can truly change, as much as one can pretend otherwise.

[ His eyes flicker to the hands but he's going to raise an eyebrow.]

And yet, any number of people have graduated over the course of the Barge's time floating about and most of them, if not all of them, haven't managed to expire from overly-charitable self-sacrifice.

So clearly that can't be the problem. Anything else?

Like I said, I mentioned selfishness as but one example of such characteristics. [There are so many others.]

You mentioned "eons-old supernatural creatures" in quite a casual manner?

And I'm sure I could say the same for any one of them. Congratulations: graduation isn't simple.

[ Terribly dry. Then he breathes in with a huff of a laugh. ]

Yes, because eons-old supernatural creatures are the closest thing I have to bread and butter, as they'd say. Given that I was previously the avatar of a multi-faceted eldritch entity of fear that attempted to utilize me to bring about the spread of their influence to multiple universes.

[ A quick, tight smile.]

Edited 2023-02-16 15:25 (UTC)

[He laughs, surprised.]

Oh? Dear me. There do seem to be quite a number of you around. [First the yellow monstrosity, now this.]

Yes, funny that.

[ He's going to keep looking at you, Sebastian.]

Now, were you going to stop wasting our time and say something of substance any time soon?

Edited 2023-02-16 16:16 (UTC)

[...

Punk-ass little bitch.

Sebastian's smile strains for a moment.]

--Well, then. I apologise for how arrogant this will sound, but: I honestly do not believe I have anything in need of changing. If I had, I would already have changed them on my own. [Better?]

[ Better. But still-]

Well, it is 'I have no intention of doing anything constructive' but at least it isn't personal.

[ No, really.

He folds his hands.]

The fact of the matter is that something needs to change in order for you to graduate and leave this place, so unless you're quite happy to continue to be incarcerated here or you're hoping to outlast the Admiral and be flung into the Void, I'd like to make an argument for considering the wildly improbable concept that whatever the hell you are, you may actually have some behaviors or viewpoints that could be improved upon for your own wellbeing and the well-being of other beings who happen to be around you at any point.

But therein lies the problem, does it not? I am well aware that without change, there is no graduation. Hence, in part, why I disbelieve the Admiral's pure intentions.

If he is truly so omniscient, he should well know I see no fault with myself - I am arrogant that way. Would he but deign to inform me what he wants for me to change, I would happily work to try to [fake to] implement it. Please believe me when I say I would not stay here a second longer than absolutely necessary - I must return to my master, you see.

...and you think you're the first inmate to come here who sees no fault in themselves? Really?

[ You... you're stretching the bounds of believability here, sir. Come on now.]

The Admiral's intentions are simple enough. Everyone I've ever seen trying to make them more complicated was just doing it as a justification for their own lack of desire to change or grow in any way.

So I'm going to put this very plainly: do you want to work on this with the understanding that, surprise surprise, even beings who ostensibly know just about everything they might need to in their own universes may not be entirely cognizant of their own personal capacity for growth and change or do you want to sit there like a fussy toddler decrying the fact that nothing can be done about anything but you really must get home right now and the mean mean Admiral needs to stop playing silly buggers because you're clearly special and he made a mistake?

[ He leans back and spreads his hands.]

As I said at the start: I don't mind either way, or rather, I do mind, but I'm well aware one can only lead a horse to water. But in the interest of your own time and efforts and mine, I'd like something of a straight answer, if you can manage that.

[ He turns one hand.]

If you can't and you'd like some time to think it over, I'm happy to wait... well, for a reasonable amount of time, anyway.

[Sebastian leans back slightly in the chair as Jon speaks. The thrumming of his fingers resumes (now, it's out of agitation). Of course he doesn't think he's the first inmate to come here who sees no fault in themselves. That's not the same thing as potentially being the first truly flawless inmate.]

Fine. ["Fussy toddler..." Really.] Naturally, I have changed over the course of my life. It is not impossible that I could change again.

Edited 2023-02-16 17:26 (UTC)

[ His eyes flicker to the thrumming fingers and then back up to Sebastian's face.

Yeah, buddy: not better.]

Excellent. Then let's start with who, or rather, what, we're dealing with: what the hell are you actually?

forward dated to the 20th

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